Privacy (written Feb 3)

So apparently privacy is one of those things you don't really appreciate until you lose it. I've already spoken to a few people about this, so my apologies if this is old news to you. In short, this culture does not value, appreciate, or understand the concept of privacy. The only time people are inside their houses or in their back yards is when they are sleeping, bathing, or using the latrine...every other part of life is carried out in the public eye (unless you are in a child, in which case, those activities are often carried out in public as well).

It is not considered rude or inappropriate to attempt to carry out a conversation through the fence with someone using the latrine or taking a bath in their back yard if you are walking by and happen to hear/see someone. It is also not considered rude to stand outside someone's door and call their name insistently until they come out, then demand to know what they were doing, even if you don't know them well and/or have anything to say to them beyond "good morning." This happens very frequently, pretty much anytime we are in our house. If you stay in your house with the door closed past 8:30am or so, people will think you are sick. Whenever you arrive anywhere, expect everyone to ask where you are coming from. Whenever you leave a place, expect everyone to ask you where you are going and why. If you go to the well/tap, expect everyone in the vicinity to ask what you will be using the water for. If you get your hair braided, expect everyone to ask who braided it for you. If you are not married, expect everyone to ask why not. If you are married, expect everyone to ask you where your children are. If you say you don't have any yet, expect people to be shocked and offer you theirs (semi-seriously). Also, if you are married, anytime you are more than 3 feet from your spouse, expect everyone to ask where your spouse is. Etc, etc, etc. How well a person knows you has absolutely no bearing on whether they will ask these questions...they are fair game for anyone. One thing that makes me feel a bit better is that these questions are by no means reserved for toubabs - they do the same thing to each other; it is the way they show they care about each other. Unfortunately, however, at least at this point, that knowledge doesn't make all this seem any less nosy/invasive/exasperating.

Currently, I would say that the lack of privacy is the biggest challenge we are facing, mainly because it adds to the innate stress of the foreign environment we are in and has put us both a bit on edge. We are working on developing coping mechanisms though, so hopefully as time goes on, it will get easier.

Sorry for two downer posts in a row here...I promise an upbeat one next time!